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Smells like...

I had the most revolting dream last night.  I’m not even sure I should write it down, it was THAT BAD.  There was *rodent-killing* in it – and I don’t mean Tom and Jerry style!


But in sunnier news, I had an Idea this morning, whilst walking to work.  An Idea for an INVENTION.  (I get these, regularly, but unless I write them down I tend to forget them…)  My *Significant Other* was telling me about a nasty B.O.-related experience he had had, sitting in enforced close proximity to someone who apparently hadn’t found the time to have a bath this century.  So I had to suggest a plague-helmet – one of those beaky things stuffed with fragrant herbs, which people who were afraid of catching the plague used to wear, in the hope that the mighty herbs would filter the evil miasma.  Of course, this would work for bad smells, but you might get a few odd looks on the bus.

So, how can we bring this device slap-bang into the 21st Century?  Make it discreet and portable, stylish enough to wear at parties?  Well, how about a personal aroma player, kinda like an iPod, only, let’s call it an iSmell.   Or, more accurately, a uSmell.  Instead of putting the tiny plastic blobs in your ears, you put them in your nostrils.

Can’t you just see this catching on??!  Obviously we will all have to buy attachments for our computers, filled with all sorts of essential oils/synthetic fragrances.  Then we will go to www.isniff.com to download the recipes for the particular smell we want to add to our library.  And we will load it into the uSmell and go merrily on our way, wreathed in neroli or fresh bread or Chanel No.5.  Maybe we can show off our good taste and hipness by comparing recent smell-lists at aromaf.m.!  We must of course watch for people trying to sell us dodgy smells, such as glue.  And people of taste will avoid those icky celebrity smells they keep advertising.  (No, Paris!  Britney!  No!!!)


Ah well – perhaps it’s all a little too Brave New World. ;-)

[edit: hahahaha!  Lookit!  Someone has beat me to it!!  iSmell ]


( 6 confidences — Confide in me... )
Feb. 26th, 2008 02:40 pm (UTC)
OH MAN! I can imagine SMELL artists. People developing smells!

People will be like,

"Who's yer favorite smell maker?"

"Tim Rogers."

"Oh man. Tim sucks. He's a sell out. His smells have gone downhill ever since he signed to Columbia."

Feb. 26th, 2008 03:03 pm (UTC)
Blimey O'Riley!

I don't believe it - the damn thing exists already!! (kinda)


I must have read about it somewhere! :-)

Smell artists though, hmm, it can't be far off!
Feb. 26th, 2008 08:25 pm (UTC)
Usmell...ahahaha. Oh, being a hairdresser there are times I could totally use one.

I'd buy! hahah.
Feb. 27th, 2008 08:57 am (UTC)
Ugh, yes. It must require great stamina on many levels to remain serene whilst styling hair! (What with all the standing up, and the endless smalltalk, before you even consider the occasional smelly customer...!)
Feb. 27th, 2008 09:59 pm (UTC)
Especially when I come around to do fringe and they say something, and the breath is like rotting corpses. Not only am I standing there holding my breath and hoping I can get away with only a nod, I then, suddenly, wonder about my own breath. Surely not as bad as corpses rotting in sewage, I tell myself.
Feb. 28th, 2008 09:04 am (UTC)
The answer to this is simple! Some kind of mutual menthol related ritual! Nobody gets to have their hair attended to/do any attending without first consuming breath mints. ;-)

Or eat a green apple. That's the secret after eating garlic. It works!!
( 6 confidences — Confide in me... )

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