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Is the End of the World Nigh?

This morning at 12.56 a.m., there was an earthquake!

I didn't feel it myself, but I swear I *dreamed* there was an earthquake.  So imagine my smugness when I heard the news this morning!  Either I did feel it (but was too fast asleep to process this information) or perhaps I am MILDLY PSYCHIC. ;-)  Indeed, it puts yesterday's rodent-related dream in perspective!! ;-)

Well, all I can say now is that I am agog to know what will befall us next.  In the Summer we had appalling floods.  Now this new cataclysm.  Next stop, a plague of rodents, probably. ^_^

And I may not reeeeeaaaalllly be psychic, but may I be permitted to predict that certain tabloid hacks are right now this minute sharpening their pencils (or possibly doing pre-typing warm-up finger exercises) in readiness for nine months' time, when I fear we may be presented with stories about babies being conceived at the very moment of Seismic Shimmy.  I doubt whether the headline writers will be able to resist some variation on the theme of 'Did the Earth Move for You?'. ;-)

If this were a horror movie, as opposed to boring old Real Life, perhaps the said infant would turn out to be the Spawn of the Very Devil!  Did you know, people, that the village of Holton cum Beckering (!!  Yes, really!  You couldn't make it up, could you?  It sounds like some sort of primitive deviancy!  Er, apologies to the good Christian folk of Holton cum Beckering.), the epicentre of the quake, is positioned directly over a HELLMOUTH??!!  (Again, my most fulsome apologies to the good Christian folk of Holton cum Beckering.)

Of course, every filmic baddie needs to be vanquished by someone suitably young, groovy, whip-smart, toned and hot.  Someone with most very excellent baddie-dispatching powers, and an aspirational wardrobe to boot.  Not to mention a goofy, less fashionably-dressed sidekick, with appealingly bad hair, who gets all the best lines, and whom we all secretly fancy. ^_^

Casting suggestions anyone??

[UPDATE!  What did I tell you?!  The Sun speaks the truth as usual!!  My friends, it is only a matter of time...]


( 22 confidences — Confide in me... )
Feb. 27th, 2008 10:07 am (UTC)
The lead role sounds like it was written for me.
Feb. 27th, 2008 10:20 am (UTC)
'Lead role', eh? Now, is it the laser-guided-pea-shooter totin', Gucci thigh-boot wearin', baddie-vanquisher, or the magma-drooling, fire-breathing, scarily-manicured villain that you be after playing??
Feb. 27th, 2008 10:21 am (UTC)
Without wanting to seem shallow...
...which one gets the most girls?
Feb. 27th, 2008 10:33 am (UTC)
Re: Without wanting to seem shallow...
That's an interesting point.

Originally I imagined the Vanquisher to be female. Of course, that doesn't exclude the possibility of her getting the girls. (Perhaps, indeed, getting THE girl - someone supremely exquisite who seems unreachable until she is the subject of some nifty rescuing, perhaps.)

As for Old Nastytrousers, he probably has a vast harem of nubile, compliant wenches, and a hellchamber full of Equipment.

It's really up to you. ;-)
Feb. 27th, 2008 10:45 am (UTC)
You had me at 'Vast Harem'
It's worth falling into my own reactor for.
Feb. 27th, 2008 10:58 am (UTC)
Well done, that man!

May you be scaly, but strangely alluring. And the subject of countless, endless, breathless fanfiction. :-)
Feb. 27th, 2008 11:01 am (UTC)
Re: Okelly-Dokelly!
It's the fanfic that puts me off, you know.
Feb. 27th, 2008 11:10 am (UTC)
Re: Okelly-Dokelly!
I quite understand. Indeed, I would have to sue 'em for ripping off my Intellectual Property. ^_^

But it is all part of the rich tapestry of being a pop.cult. icon!

Just think of all the conventions you could attend! People would pay money to stand next to you! ;-)

Feb. 27th, 2008 11:12 am (UTC)
Re: Okelly-Dokelly!
Fat people, with poor personal hygiene? Mmmmmm.
Feb. 27th, 2008 11:23 am (UTC)
So basically, what you're saying is, you need one of these !

Hahaha, self-referential I am!

P.S. Large, malodorous pesterers aside, don't discount the possibility of nubile-dungeon-maid cosplay. ^_^
Feb. 27th, 2008 01:05 pm (UTC)
5.3, hah! We've had 6.5, 5.3, and 5.0 since I've lived here. I used to feel little ones frequently too, but I don't any more; I mostly felt them when visiting my parents (and they've moved) or at an office (where I haven't worked in ages).
Feb. 27th, 2008 01:50 pm (UTC)
Oh yes, it was v. puny! Nothing even fell off a shelf in my house. Still, I'm sure the news will be full of it for days!
Feb. 28th, 2008 01:41 am (UTC)
That's enough to do some damage. After our 5.0 tipped over a precarious book shelf and broke a couple of my wife's decorative figurines (which I managed to glue back together), I bolted a lot of shelves to walls. The damage depends on the depth (deeper are less destructive), distance, surface conditions (squishy ground is more dangerous), direction of shaking (motion parallel to a shaky wall is less destructive), and period (hitting the resonant frequency of a building is more destructive). That book shelf fell because it was against an east-west wall, and the earthquake's shaking was north-and-south.

Also, my wife tells me our big one was 6.8, not 6.5 – extra yikes!

What kinds of natural disasters do you have there more often?

Feb. 28th, 2008 08:48 am (UTC)
I believe there was damage to property in some areas, but luckily very few casualties. I don't think much movement was felt in my neighbourhood.

As mentioned, we had dreadful floods this summer, but mostly we are not too troubled by natural disasters. They tend to be on a much smaller scale than in some other countries. I think it's partly because of our very temperate climate! :-)
Feb. 27th, 2008 01:26 pm (UTC)
I'm your sidekick, right here! I regularly wear suspenders, I can be witty, and have terrible hair! I also look good in a fake mustache, which you can observe right there.
Feb. 27th, 2008 01:47 pm (UTC)
[*is startled* *???* Ahh! In this country, we refer to your 'suspenders' as 'braces'. 'Suspenders' are *something else entirely*. Unless we are remaking the Rocky Horror Picture Show? Life, in all its infinite variety, is confusing!!]

Wow, yes, sidekick-status is hereby conferred upon you. Steadfast! Stalwart! Your Vegan Shake may render the baddie powerless with its vitamin-enhanced goodness! (Not sure your hair is terrible, really, but SFX can fix that.)

May your likeness appear on many an ironic t-shirt!

NB: be prepared for girls (and possibly some boys) to demand your autograph and swoon in the aisles when you are grocery-shopping. :-)
(Deleted comment)
Feb. 27th, 2008 09:26 pm (UTC)
Yes, we are v. subtle, us English folks. ;-)

[Apparently, we have a lot of very wee tornadoes, too. ^_^]
(Deleted comment)
Feb. 28th, 2008 08:51 am (UTC)
Haha! The next time anyone tells me to 'go to Hell', I shall have to ask 'Do you mean the one in Michigan?'!!

The USA seems to have some pretty delightful place names too - I love the sound of 'Eclectic, Alabama'. ^_^
Feb. 28th, 2008 04:16 am (UTC)
man, do i ever love reading your entries. i don't always comment, but let me assure you i am always reading! that having been said, i share the burden of having dreams that predict earthquakes. in my case, my dream incorporated the sound of the quake itself to make a certain image truly terrifying. before i go on, i was seven when this happened. i don't know what the rest of the dream was about, but towards it's close, i was standing on the bridge of the enterprise when Spock drew a gun on me. at the exact moment he pulled the trigger, there was this massive BANG, and i awoke to realize that the sound was real, and not of my imagining. i found out later that the sound was an earthquake. it would have helped to know since i spent the rest of that night wide awake waiting for what i thought was the rest of a horrid thunderstorm. it was, and still is, the loudest thing i can remember hearing in real life. the only thing i can think of louder was a dream i had when the moon crashed into the earth, but thankfully, that sound stayed deep within my subconscious upon awakening. I'm really glad that one never came true.
Feb. 28th, 2008 09:01 am (UTC)

Hey, I'm glad you like 'em!

[Would it be silly of me to suggest that your dream may have been the result of a Vulcan mind-meld? Yes; yes it would. Oh well...! ;-)]
Feb. 28th, 2008 07:45 pm (UTC)
hahaha.... i thought it was the weirdest dream since i didn't watch star trek very much, and when i did, it was with picards crew. i suppose that because Spock is such a well known entity, it shouldn't come as a surprise that he was in my dream, but the fact that he pulled a gun on me scared me and then some. i think he's a symbol of sternness, and the dream itself was a reaction to my lack of a sense of responsibility. as for incorporating the earthquake as a very real sound effect for the gun, i imagine it has something to do with a concept in quantum physics where a reaction can precede an action, since time is supposedly not limited to s single direction (or dimension)

thats what i think anyway! ^_^
( 22 confidences — Confide in me... )

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