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Eurovision: not an hallucination

A few belated words on the subject of Eurovision!

I missed the first semi-final, but managed to watch the second semi-final and the final.

Of course the voting was a farce, and I really didn't like the winning Russian song.  They had this really annoying and rather extraneous ice-skater with a completely bizarre haircut - cross between a mullet and a basin do - and the song was much of a muchness (consisting mostly of the singer bleating in hackneyed style about self-belief).

My favourites were the Portuguese entry (a well-nourished young woman belting out a song about a 'Lady of the Sea' - it's a well-worn joke of mine that there has to be at least one Eurovision entry each year containing the line 'My lovely boat'.  I'm not sure if she actually managed to fulfil that tradition, but it was a good effort anyway!) and the Croatian entry (rather tuneful and featuring a grumpy old man called '75 Cents' moaning about the good old days!).

Ukraine's 'Shady Lady' song was quite fun, too, more the sort of eccentric, catchy Europop that you expect from Eurovision.  Turkey's song was quite good, but probably too decent and normal sounding for this setting!

Georgia's song, a stolid dirge about world peace sung by a blind singer, was pretty classic fare too - the song wasn't up to much but the flamboyant costume change and completely over the top dancing (especially from a chap in white who looked like he was suffering from St Vitus's Dance) ticked all the Eurovision boxes.

One of the strangest entries was Malta's - it didn't get past the semi-final, sadly, which is a shame, because the world needs more spy-themed songs with lines like 'Vodka: that's the secret word' and 'Vodka: a transparent word'!

As for the absolute weirdest entry... well, this was a bumper year for oddball songs.  The Irish entry, featuring a singing turkey, didn't make it past the semi-final.  (Surprising, no?!)  But France gets into the final automatically, so their half-hearted presentation of a bearded hipster, mumbling about something or other that I couldn't quite catch, didn't really have to try too hard.  As for Spain - oh, dear.  Just... oh, dear, oh dear.  A bewigged 'comedy type' burbling 'ironically' about dance steps - too, too lame!

On to the 'so bad it's good' category.  Or should that be the 'so bad it's bad' category?!  I'll leave that up to you.  But there were some excellent bad English lyrics this year, my favourite coming from Latvia's Eurodisney-styled effort, which featured pirates.  I don't think Johnny Depp need worry for his reputation, however, with lyrics like 'We're robbing you blind/I hope you don't mind'.  Another groan-inducing moment came courtesy of the Czech Republic, whose frankly rubbish song inflicted couplets like 'Just like the sun goes with the sunshine/Like a grape goes with a grapevine' on their unsuspecting audience.

But the prize for absolute worst entry has to go to... Azerbaijan.  This song - and I use the word 'song' loosely, you understand - consisted of a plump youth dressed as an angel, squawking in falsetto, whilst his demon-costumed friend rasped and warbled alongside him.  I know, I'm making it sound like the sort of thing I'd like... or even make up... but no.  Sadly, no.  (Hehe, I just looked up the performers' biographies on the Eurovision website - about Elnur we discover that "After leaving the music school in 2004 he began an education for stylist and hairdresser. His dream is to create a mini zoo at home, because he likes animals very much. At the moment, he has a white rat, a python and he is planning to get a cat."  I envisage an interesting food chain developing there if he doesn't watch out!  And as for Samir: "He likes to experiment with his clothes and his favorite performers are Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson."  The mind... it boggleth.)

See them here for yourself!  Remember to put in your earplugs first, mind!  (This is them at the semi-final, apparently.  The song begins at c. 45 seconds.  Don't say I didn't warn you.)


( 6 confidences — Confide in me... )
(Deleted comment)
May. 28th, 2008 11:00 am (UTC)
Hope dinner turned out well!

Haha, if 'screeching' proves its mettle on the tags front, I hope it's for good reasons only!!
May. 28th, 2008 09:37 am (UTC)
Have you seen the Father Ted Eurovision episode with a song called 'My lovely horse'?
May. 28th, 2008 10:56 am (UTC)
Neil Hannon's finest hour, no?!
May. 28th, 2008 07:51 pm (UTC)
Goes to show how the Eurovision songs divide people's opinions about them. :D I absolutely loved Azerbaijan's song because it was so... amusing yet oddly good. Funnily enough, the official video for it is much, much better than the stage show.
May. 29th, 2008 01:56 pm (UTC)
I've come to the conclusion that the song itself was horrible, but the overall performance - and exuberant enthusiasm of the performers - was perfect for Eurovision! :-)
( 6 confidences — Confide in me... )

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