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Who falls for this nonsense?!

Hahahaha!! I'm sorry, pointlessness central here, but I just saw an ad. that made me Laugh Out Loud.

"Why Are You Fat?" it screams. (And I feel like retorting, "Well, buster, why do you smell?!" For the record... I'm not fat. Nor am I skinny. I Am Just Right. ^_^)

"Parasites Are Living Inside You! See The Shocking Proof!!" it continues. Now, correct me if I'm wrong here... but wouldn't a parasite - such as a tapeworm, f'rinstance - make you thinner...?

And then, for the nitty gritty: visit www.SexyFirmBody.com. But of course! ;-)

Hmmm... I'm a little tempted to visit that website. I couldn't care less about anyone's Sexy Firm Body (well... certain people's, maybe... ^_^), but I'm kinda curious about the parasites...! o_O

The general tabloidiness is confirmed by its being right next to an ad. for The Sun Newspaper. Should I click or not...?

What the hell... I clicked. And it's quite (unintentionally?) amusing. A sorry tale of a sexy young female doctor (maybe hers is the Sexy Firm Body...), death threats and 'goopy plaque'...

It begins with Sexy Young Female Doctor in a Bond girl pose...

title or description

"Who Wants This Lady Doctor Dead?
– and Why?

You may find it hard to believe, but when someone comes along with a great cure for illness or disease, some people in power get really, really ticked off.
And that is what’s happened regarding the lady doctor above. Her name is Dr Suzanne Gudakunst, and she’s someone worth paying attention to.
Why? ... Because she may have found the answer everyone’s been looking for when it comes to preventing sickness & disease, as well as a permanent end to people becoming fat!
Dr Suzanne has correctly identified the exact causes of people’s obesity, and how to stop it. She’s also discovered that the same cause of why people get fat is also the same reason why people eventually get sick and die prematurely – often cutting off years from their lives (not to mention the quality of their lives!)
She has identified several species of parasites and a specific type of goopy plaque that if left in your bowels makes you fat, bloated, developing a pouch and spare-tire belly – and which also is directly linked to 99.9% of ALL diseases (including but not limited to: cancers, diabetes, arthritis, heart disease, strokes, high blood pressure, just to name a few!)
But best of all, Dr Suzanne has found an instant and natural remedy that flushes out these plaques and parasites for good. People using her formula often report sudden weight losses up to 100 lbs or more – and without changing a single thing about their diets.
Also more shockingly is the fact that many people see reversals in heart disease, and suddenly their diabetes or even cancer goes into remission and never returns!
Obviously this lady doctor is taking money away from the rich as she actually makes people well – rather than just keeping them sick, year after year, all just to profit at the expense of their health and eventually their very lives.
If you’d like to find out more how her “Top Secret Fat Loss Secret” works and how you can get it (and before someone knocks her off for good!) then just complete the simple form below! ..."

Well, goodness. I am amazed. I can only imagine that "Dr Suzanne"'s amazing remedy must be some kind of super-duper colonic irrigation or what-have-you... There she goes, flushing out toxins, curing cancer, flicking her hair... she is obviously a medical super-heroine...!

Oh dear, although it's very silly stuff, I really hope nobody sends these people any money...


( 11 confidences — Confide in me... )
Jul. 26th, 2008 11:40 pm (UTC)
"Now, correct me if I'm wrong here... but wouldn't a parasite - such as a tapeworm, f'rinstance - make you thinner...?"

Not if the tapeworm has a lower metabolism than yourself!

Jul. 26th, 2008 11:42 pm (UTC)
btw, I love your new Man From U.N.C.L.E userpic! I was a big fan as a child.
Jul. 27th, 2008 12:53 am (UTC)
When I was a teenager, there used to always be repeats of 1960s TV shows on at 6.00 p.m. on weekdays, and I loved them all! Esp. The Avengers, as I'm sure you can tell. :-) I haven't watched The Man From UNCLE' in years, I wish they'd show it again! Very stylishly daft. ^_^
Jul. 27th, 2008 12:55 am (UTC)
Yes, it was very goofy. Like a humorless version of Get Smart (which I also loved!) I fear the movie version.

And of course I had a wild crush on Emma Peel. I used to just love it when she beat up the boys!
Jul. 27th, 2008 12:25 am (UTC)
Wow, someone better nominate that bitch for the Nobel Prize before all those rich people knock her off for good! ;)
Jul. 27th, 2008 12:54 am (UTC)
Definitely! ;-)

The intriguing combination of conspiracy theory and weight-loss scam deserves some form of recognition, anyhow... ;-)
Jul. 27th, 2008 07:08 am (UTC)
I know if I was a rich person the last thing I would do would be kill her. I'd lock her up in a cage and let her work away at the excesses of my parklifestyle!
Jul. 27th, 2008 09:16 pm (UTC)
But of course! You could enjoy a surfeit of... everything, and then let Dr S. detox it all better.

Actually, that sounds really horrible!! o_O
Jul. 27th, 2008 10:44 pm (UTC)
It sounds a lot like liposuction and vats of draining fat :)
Jul. 27th, 2008 05:36 am (UTC)
Dr. Suzanne also rescues kittens, cures world hunger, and advises small children to never, ever do drugs. Because not doing such things would probably lead to other people becoming obese. She saves lives this way.
Jul. 27th, 2008 09:15 pm (UTC)
Yes. And as soon as the evil corporations assassinate her, Dr Suzanne is on the fast track to be canonised* by Pope Benedict XVI, for miraculously vanquishing the evil spectre of obesity. ;-)

[*Disclaimer: this may not actually be true. Or is it??!!]
( 11 confidences — Confide in me... )

Eavesdrop, snoop, and sigh with yearning...

This journal is not a private diary, it is more like an occasional, imaginary column. Therefore, much of it is on public display. However, if you want to read my occasional attempts at creative writing, my Caution Elf tells me I should only show that stuff to my friends. You know what to do. :-)

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