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Starring Rod Johnson as Saint Peter.

Hey, people.  Remember this?

Well, I have news for you.  Astonishingly large news.

The other day I opened my work email to find a message there that made me pause for a moment to reflect on the mysterious ways of the Almighty:

From: Christ <tleetsip1997@abendita.com.br>
Date: 19 September 2008 10:41:08 BDT
To: xxxx@xxxxx.xxx
Subject: ***SPAM*** If your wife needs your attention, you can help her anytime.


Wow.  Who knew.  Christ has email now.  There was nothing in the message except for a link, which presumably leads either to spiritual enlightenment or a really big appendage. ;-)  Desiring neither at the present time, being well satisfied with my lot on both counts, I did not bother to pursue this matter further, although it's nice to know that Jesus has his priorities straight.

Y'know, I think I shall never think of the words 'thy rod and staff me comfort still' in the same way ever again.

In the meantime, I invite suggestions from my readers as to any questions they would like put to Christ via the wonders of the divine email. ;-P

Comments

( 12 confidences — Confide in me... )
davywavy
Sep. 23rd, 2008 09:41 am (UTC)
You'd think the Son of God would at least have His own domain name.
song_of_copper
Sep. 23rd, 2008 11:11 am (UTC)
Nah, that'd be too showy and corporate. 'God dot com' - so not his style. ;-)

I wonder if he's got a myspace?
davywavy
Sep. 23rd, 2008 11:20 am (UTC)
I just realised
My reply should have been a suggestive pun along the lines of "There's a reason they call Him the 'almighty'", but I didn't think of it.
My smuttometer is obviously malfunctioning.
song_of_copper
Sep. 23rd, 2008 11:33 am (UTC)
Re: I just realised
Oh dear. Perhaps you need to lie down in a darkened room for a while. ^_^ *waits with trepidation for inevitable appalling punchline*

I guess Christianity has more in common with all o' them primitive phallocentric cults than we prudish 21st century souls imagined. :-D
mercystreet1986
Sep. 23rd, 2008 10:42 am (UTC)
LOL! Oh dear, this is a funny post. Made my day. I can't stop laughing! :D
song_of_copper
Sep. 23rd, 2008 11:12 am (UTC)
Ah, my work is therefore done. :-)
ninja_pencil
Sep. 23rd, 2008 11:16 am (UTC)
lmao I have no questions at this time.
song_of_copper
Sep. 23rd, 2008 11:35 am (UTC)
It's funny. No-one's asked anything yet. I guess perhaps everyone's emailing him directly and are too embarrassed to tell me what it is they're enquiring about. ;-)
yesihavecookies
Sep. 23rd, 2008 04:55 pm (UTC)
I love how the subject specifies that the e-mail is spam.
yesihavecookies
Sep. 23rd, 2008 04:55 pm (UTC)
spam spam spam spammity spam spam spamspam spam spam spammity spam spam spamspam spam spam spammity spam spam spamspam spam spam spammity spam spam spamspam spam spam spammity spam spam spamspam spam spam spammity spam spam spamspam spam spam spammity spam spam spamspam spam spam spammity spam spam spamspam spam spam spammity spam spam spamspam spam spam spammity spam spam spamspam spam spam spammity spam spam spamspam spam spam spammity spam spam spamspam spam spam spammity spam spam spamspam spam spam spammity spam spam spamspam spam spam spammity spam spam spamspam spam spam spammity spam spam spamspam spam spam spammity spam spam spamspam spam spam spammity spam spam spamspam spam spam spammity spam spam spamspam spam spam spammity spam spam spamv
song_of_copper
Sep. 23rd, 2008 06:16 pm (UTC)
...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.
song_of_copper
Sep. 23rd, 2008 06:15 pm (UTC)
Not even Christ can get the better of that email filter!
( 12 confidences — Confide in me... )

Eavesdrop, snoop, and sigh with yearning...

This journal is not a private diary, it is more like an occasional, imaginary column. Therefore, much of it is on public display. However, if you want to read my occasional attempts at creative writing, my Caution Elf tells me I should only show that stuff to my friends. You know what to do. :-)

NB: If you add me in an unsolicited fashion, please introduce yourself. Otherwise I will probably ignore you.

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