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...This probably makes me a bad person.

Just now I was reading an online article about some guy who used to be in the Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band, when my eye was drawn to a link at the side of the page.  In a moment of temporary dyslexia I thought it said "Lynton Goat Cult?"

Ooh, goes my tawdry little mind.  Goat cult, eh? *click*

In actual fact, it really said "Lynton Goat Cull?"  It was telling the story of some aggrieved locals from that area who are angry because a herd of feral goats keep getting into the cemetery and eating all the floral tributes.

My sense of humour must be having a 'callous and not-in-very-good-taste' day today, because for some reason, I found this... amusing.  There was something about the way it was written that seemed a bit like a sitcom script, rather than incisive reportage.  I quote:

Edward said: "It's supposed to be a place of peace and tranquility, but those goats roam all over the place."

And a furious Jill added: "When we went for the funeral the coffin trolley had to be wheeled through goats' droppings and the mourners had to pick their way through it.

"My son is out there and at least five other family members on both sides — and we've had to resort to buying plastic flowers.

"Even when I bought fabric flowers I came back to find they'd eaten them too and just left the plastic stalks."

Well, ok, I really should not be giggling about grief-stricken people's carefully chosen tributes being destroyed by rampaging herbivores.  Straight face, straight face...

...But then, the final straw!  Here it is!  A most perspicacious comment to the article, from someone calling themselves 'Banana from Woolacombe':

"Goats are goats - they do what they do. Ridiculous to want to get rid of them - they are part of the landscape. They should be looked after and respected."

Oh, Banana!  You have made my day with your silly name and utterly meaningless comment! ;-)  "Goats are goats."  Ye-es, well spotted.  A-plus for observation.  Now do go on and enlighten us further.  "They do what they do!"  Oh maaan, that is so profound. ^_^  "They are part of the landscape..."  Yep, like rocks, grass and trees.  Treeeeees.....!!  "They should be looked after and respected."  Now I have visions of you clothing Billy and Nanny in embroidered cloaks, bringing them offerings of wild herb salad, and bowing down before them...

...ahh, maybe Banana thought it said 'Goat Cult' too. ^_^

Hooray for local news! :-D

...And now, back to being highly respectful of my fellow human beings...


( 5 confidences — Confide in me... )
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 15th, 2009 08:47 am (UTC)
Pythonesque, eh? Actually, you're right... And I had been watching 'Ripping Yarns' earlier (with Michael Palin and Terry Jones). ;-)
Jun. 13th, 2009 04:37 am (UTC)
I need to find some way of fitting "goats are goats" into future conversations.
Jun. 15th, 2009 08:49 am (UTC)
It does sound rather like one of those phrases from beginner's philosophy class! You know, like how can we be sure that it's a 100% true statement...? ;-P
Jun. 13th, 2009 08:23 am (UTC)
That's hilarious :D
Jun. 15th, 2009 08:50 am (UTC)
For some reason, I tend to find anything to do with funerals or goats innately farcical... putting them together only serves to exaggerate this effect! :-)
( 5 confidences — Confide in me... )

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This journal is not a private diary, it is more like an occasional, imaginary column. Therefore, much of it is on public display. However, if you want to read my occasional attempts at creative writing, my Caution Elf tells me I should only show that stuff to my friends. You know what to do. :-)

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